Do you guys remember DC Talk – “Jesus is still alright with me”? Oh man I found the 90’s video on youtube and had a good laugh. “Laughter is good medicine” (Proverbs 17:22) right?! What a great stroll down memory lane. Seriously though this is what I heard God whisper to me this week. I may have flaws and I may be an emotional basket case right now but He is still alright with me! Really- thats all that really matters.
I’ve had a rough week. Emotionally. So tough. Week 3 of quarantine and I AM LOSING IT! Like seriously losing it. I have to say I could get used to the no makeup and pj’s all day though! No but for real I feel like I have been on this emotional roller coaster. At times I’m finding absolute delight in seeing my children accomplish an academic goal or even learning to play together. The other day I was having a terrible time getting my son to do a certain school assignment and decided to give him the following days assignment instead. The following day we came back to that assignment and he not only did the assignment but he went above and beyond- he enjoyed it and wanted to keep going. It was such a proud moment for me (as the mom and now teacher). At other times I’m on the floor literally weeping for what seems like the entire day!! Maybe I’m falling into the trap of “unmet expectations” but lately I’ve been having these two major frustrations that seem to keep popping up.
- Everywhere I look (social media mostly) all I see is JOY?! WHAT??!!
- The church (by the church I mean Christians) continually telling me that my emotions will lead me astray.
These messages continue to make me feel even more isolated then I already am! I feel so alone in my feelings. Anyone else feel this way?
My goal in this post is not to debunk some of the truths that are certainly in Gods word! Such as Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful.” HOWEVER- God created us. He created us as emotional creatures! Jesus himself experienced great sorrow, anger, joy, and fear. Look at King David. How emotional was that guy?! All you have to do is read some Psalms and know that He was an emotional guy.
This week I reached out to a couple of people because I was really needing some encouragement. I did not get what my heart was longing for which was comforting words, companionship, encouragement. I received the messages (and this is my interpretation by the way) that I am over-reacting, that I need to have more faith. You know “faith over fear”. Here is the thing about fear- it is as REAL as the coffee I’m drinking this morning! Although I do know that the enemy uses fear I also believe strongly that God uses fear. Take for instance your child gets sick with 103/104 temp.. High temp! What emotion will that produce? Its likely to produce a lot of emotion but at the top of my list is fear. Fear drives you to DO something. Fear can go both ways. It can also drive you to RETREAT; like the Israelites did when Moses first led them to what was the promised land (see end of the book of Numbers & beginning of the book of Deuteronomy) and generations paid a big price for this as they wondered the wilderness for 40 years. Fear can also drive you to action! The key to ruling our emotions is checking in with God himself. Asking him- “God am I overreacting here?” “God will you help me to monitor my emotions”? “God will you help me navigate these feelings?”
What doesn’t help right now is all of the Christians screaming “FAITH over FEAR”. Look thats just really not helpful right now. Is it true? Absolutely but there is a time and a place to share this. Everyone is scared right now and for good reason. If we pretend like that emotion is not real or it doesn’t matter we are lying to ourself and we are brushing real issues under the carpet. Which is actually what the enemy also wants sometimes. He wants us to cower in Fear- retreat.
Social media has been super tough for me to understand also. Why is it that all we see are the fun happy family times? Why doesn’t anyone capture the child throwing the tantrum on the floor or the 5 year old holding the dog hostage while mom is in the middle of “working out” or the dirty house or the fight that broke out with your husband because your sick of doing it all and you need SPACE? These may or may not all be REAL examples (insert sarcasm laugh). I just wish I seen some REALness out there. I feel like a complete failure and just a big mess when I feel like I am the only one going through these emotions.
Below are some really good scripture verses that I have been pondering as I let my heart FEEL but also keep it in check with the Holy Spirit.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for EVERYTHING you DO flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” Psalm 51:10
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in Spirit” Psalm 34:18
The best thing you can do right now for yourself and your family is to set aside some time each day to pray and read your Bible. Sometimes all the other voices can start to crowd out what God says. I also want to encourage you that the two most important commandments that Jesus gives us start with the HEART: “1. Love the Lord your God with all Your HEART, with all your SOUL, and with all your MIND. 2. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-38).
God is not shocked by your fear, anger, sadness, pain or heartbreak. Your emotions matter to Him. This season is life is tough. I don’t think there is a single area of our life that COVID-19 has not affected in some way. What we do with these emotions can become evil and you can let those things carry you to the depths of despair (like the Israelites for example) or you can rise up, put on the FULL ARMOR of GOD (Ephesians 6:10-20) and fight like the woman God has made you to be. Lets not cower but lets use these emotions for Gods Glory. Mama Bear you are not ALONE in your pain!! I am here. God is here. We are right here with you!
My prayer for you (Mama) this week is this: “may the peace of God , which surpasses all understanding , guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)
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