I have not posted for over a year. Yikes! The past year has been extremely busy. Those of you who have been here since the beginning know that David and I operate a ministry in Fargo (Redemption Road). The past couple of years have been so busy for our business. COVID did none of us a favor. Our ministry needs went up and our dollars went down. We have since done some house cleaning/restructuring of the business. We let go of our female house (for now) and our only staff is now David and myself. The board of directors decided to increase my pay (since I had already been juggling so much of our admin work). OH how money talks! The board intended the increase in my pay to be a way of saying thank-you for all you have done and continue to do. I however felt even MORE pressure to keep adding to my already long list of work duties. Its that performance/perfectionist in me. I cant help myself. How many of you can relate?
Last year was such a trying season for me. Life got busy and I had to decide what I COULD do and keep up with and what I could NOT do and NOT keep up with. I have shared before that our daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. Prior to having a daughter with ADHD I was of the mind-set that this was a bogus/made up disorder. We all have some level of ADHD- so I thought. Now having experience with a young child who has this disorder- you can’t convince me it isn’t COMPLETELY debilitating! SO many tears I’ve shed this past year over the impact this disorder has had on all of us. Personally its been challenging on a day to day basis as mom. Every day I give her medication I both hate and love myself for this. I hate that I’m giving her a stimulant that could become addictive and yet I love that it has helped her stay on task and focus- leading her to much greater success specifically in reading and math. This summer we kept her on the medication and had her continue math, reading and some piano. Over all we have had great success with her current medication plan. HOWEVER- this medicine only lasts about 5 maybe 6 hours. Nights and weekends have started become a nightmare for me.
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE spending time with my daughter. I also LOVE her spunk and energy! Whats not great is that her mind is literally spinning a million miles an hour and she is CONSTANTLY seeking a rush of dopamine. For her this happens mostly when she gets something new (a toy, candy, makeup, etc) OR makes a mess with some sort of experiment or craft. EVERY DAY its “Mom what are we doing today?” “Mom can we go to target”, “Mom can we bake something”, “Mom can we go to hobby lobby”, “Mom can we go to Five Below”, “Mom can we go to Starbucks”, “Mom I’m SOOOO bored”, “Mom can I do something to earn some money?” AND this is just the tip of the iceberg. Because her brain moves SO fast- she does not think to – pickup her toys, flush the toilet, drain the bath tub, shut the door, put the milk away, turn the light off, brush her hair, shut the drawer, put her socks on….. the list goes on and on. Most of my days (in THIS season) are spent caring for, cleaning up after, reminding her (over and over) of simple tasks. Its mentally, physically, and emotionally draining. To put it simply- I’m tired. My daughter is a jewel and I wouldn’t trade her for the world. But I’m also exhausted. This one child takes as much effort as probably 4 or 5 Theo’s (my son).
Are you in the middle of a difficult season or situation? Do you feel tired, drained from the constant demands of work and/or children? Maybe your facing some other mental or physical challenge. Lets be encouraged together. The Bible verse the kids and I are memorizing this month is this: “Be STRONG and COURAGEOUS. Do NOT be afraid; do NOT be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9. We serve a God who cares. He does not sit idly by and watch us suffer. He is THERE and whether you feel Him or not is irrelevant. The fact is he is there and he never stops working on your behalf. I will leave you with this encouraging word from the Holy scripture: “I lift up my eyes to the mountains- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will NOT let your foot slip-he who watches over you will NOT slumber; indeed he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.” Psalms 121:1-4